kemanakah ingin ku tuju?

cewah~

dah banyak kali orang fikir tentang masa depan, dan walau banyak kali itu sudah tak terkira, soalan tetap serupa; habis universiti nak buat ape?

kahwin? oh tidak!
kerja? kemungkinan besar...sebab nak duit.
sambung pelajaran? nak sambung tapi kena tengok dulu, kalau dapat biasiswa, ok!

ada tiga pilihan, tapi semuanya cam nak telan mentah-mentah je. kahwin bukan pilihan utama, yang itu memang sangat pasti sebab... hahaahaha, tepuk dada, tanyalah kenapa. kebelakangan ni ramai orang bincang pasal nikah kahwin, tapi kena juga fikir tentang masa depan rumahtangga. bukan senang nak hidup dengan lelaki yang kita tak kenal selama kita hidup setakat ni-dan kita nak kena habiskan sepanjang hidup dengan lelaki ini? walaupun orang percaya bahawa cinta itu ada, tapi cinta monyet, cinta lembu, cinta anjing atau cinta muda-remaja-bagai-nak-gila ini,bukan cinta yang orang rasa boleh membawa sampai ke syurga.

ceh! akukah itu?

bukan nak remehkan lelaki, tapi orang tak pernah fikir orang boleh percayakan kaum adam ini. ohoho, perkara ini diluahkan oleh saya yang merindui seorang lelaki, tetapi dia bukan milikku dan aku bukan miliknya, jadi orang boleh je nak cakap. ada banyak sebab orang tak boleh nak percaya dekat depa ni, tapi orang bukan cakap depa ni tak boleh dipercayai...cuma selama ni, orang tak pernah jumpa lelaki yang orang boleh percaya kecuali keluarga sendiri. bukan tak mau, cuma tak boleh...sebabnya? mereka ini kemungkinan besar akan memutarbelitkan segala fakta yang sepatutnya mereka cakapkan.

oh well, these things aren't the things that I should be concern about. when the time comes, it'll come. if someone could prove me wrong, then I shall gladly accept it.PROVE ME WRONG PEOPLE!

but to think all of this, i really think that girls could be stupid too. in general that is. just read my previous post, you'll see how aloof i myself could be. like seriously! but i never let myself get too far, i'll catch myself and i'll mend the problem myself. i am a seriously passionate person who will let my emotions pour out like rain, but i'll freeze with my emotions when i'm in front of the person. like, if i like someone, it'll never shows! i mean, i'll shy away from the person because i don't want that person to know how i feel. but when i want the person to know about it, then i'll let it clear.

but then again, even when the other person knows about it, if they think they could take any kind of advantage over me...OH NO NO~! you're not getting anything, and you'll probably be avoided at all cost. yes. i'm a masochistic person,but can be sadistic to others...XD

友達と言えば、やはり凄い友情がいいね。今思えば、私はタッキーと翼の友情がいいなずっと思ってたんだ。何でだろう？友達以上、家族みたいな関係だからかもね。中が良さ過ぎて、普通の話してるときで見えるやん。ニサと私はそういう関係かもね。イヤイヤ、私達はやっぱやばかったぐらいかも。シングルベッドの上で、一緒に寝たり、何でも挙げたり、何でも負けせておいたり、毎晩会わないとダメとか・・・レスと言われたぐらいやった。

いや～

ニサ好きやねん、私。けど、そういう好きちゃうやから、感違いでや！ベストフレンズやから、普通ちゃうん？

大学入ってから、ゼティー根ちゃん、イリヤ、イリ、シャッズ、祥子、ナワルとマリが会って遊んでしゃべって・・自分のそれぞれのキャラが出て、分かってだから、今の私達に成ったと思ったやで。大学には、私とナワルしかいないやけど、また何所かに会える思ってるやから、ええねん！今の頃は、頑張ろうぜ！が皆に伝えたいや。


皆大好きやで！チュー★

i miss him

i miss him

i miss him

i wonder if whatever i'm going through right now means or leads to anything.

but i sure miss him

and i miss all my friends...i miss every single one of them.

wait, am i confused? naww told me that i am. if we're something more than normal friends, it'll be weird, but i'm just...i can't seem to get him out of my head. what does it suppose to mean? i have no idea.

強がり and 負け惜しみ

Tsuyogari and Make Oshimi...

are not new words for me...okay, maybe yang first tu, yes, a new hatsugen for me.

Tsuyogari- bluff;show of courage
Make Oshimi-poor loser; make excuses; unwilling to admit defeat; sour grapes

maji benkyou dane, kyou. Ah~ tadi tertonton<--? Last Friends epi 11 and seriously, walaupun mula-mula tu rase cerita is so my type, but sorry to say, even when I love reality based dramas, there are things that you want to think is still as sweet as a dream. Entah ape aku cakap pun tak tahu. But hey! Life is a drama. It's so melodramatic, I think I am such a bad actor since I've been doing nothing but whine and point a finger to someone.

Bad bad bad of me.

My life is so lifeless if I'm hook on the computer too. But I cannot live without my cayang laptop too.

Life is just the way they are. It's not always sweet and pretty all the way till the end. I guess the amount of times we fall is also the reason that keeps us going. At home, I AM A SPOIL BRAT! Bayangkan, tiap-tiap minggu kena marah dengan my beloved Umi. God, how old am I again? I know I'm childish, but there's this part of me which doesn't want to leave that part of me...get it? Even if I'm 30 ke, I still think my mom is the person I'll always refer back to. I love my parents, Umi, Abah and my family. I don't care if I'm still living with them till I got out ten years later, because they are here while they still could, kita tak tahu bile kite or depa pergi dulukan?

Family is everything for me.

Once, I nearly lost them. Let me say when; last year's August. My grandma died. My dad's unstable thoughts and everything resulted to A LOT OF PROBLEMS. You have no idea how scared I was. I traveled back home every week for two months straight because I don't want my parents to split. I still remember the nights I didn't sleep to just accompany my mom...or the days I spent talking with my dad.

Heck, I don't care if I'm not going to be with someone in this life because my family matters most.

Don't get me wrong, aku selalu doa for whoever that unmei na hito will be. For him to be safe and healthy. *I'm choking on my words* giler memalukan

The other day I had this meme thing on LJournal and my March birth month said this:

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

And when I saw that line...

Am I?
Nah...
Maybe...
but
was he THE one?
if he was?
but he was probably my...
what?
crush?
like?
like, for three years?

Oh, and how ironic is it that it's Utada's First Love playing now?

Love kaaaaaaaaa...
shiranai~
keiken shita koto mo nai shi ne~
kedo wakaru kamo...the song that is!

but there are things that need time. maybe I'm saying this to actually give myself some piece of mind. what? I don't care. I actually rase nak cuba and give it a chance. I know, I have the - cinta selepas kahwin thing...and I still believe in it...tapi is it even, normal...for girls? Because I don't really know anymore.tapi yang aku tahu, there's this thing called jodoh and He makes everything and everyone in pairs. That's why good things come in pairs.

And... Oh yesh! I wanted to talk about this actually.

負け惜しみわけじゃなくて、信じたいと思ったけれど、もしかしたら、私達の話はここまでかも知らない。今まで、本当に好きだったって事は黙ってた。ずっと片思いかなとおもちゃったから、お互い好きなんて信じられない。しかし、今そちらの方は好きな人もいるから、私邪魔したくない。お幸せに。この友情を切った、ごめんなさい。

ただ強がりでした。

misssssssssssssssssssss akak and ili so much \(^3^)/

p/s: ilya and shaz~ miss you two too!

NAP...a meeting is the start of a seperation

so the last NAP student went back to Nagoya already...tapi still rase that they are still here, thanks to all the mails I've received. still need to put up all the pictures I have of them...

Anyway, what I'm really sad about is, how we couldn't have time together as much as I had with '06's NAP students...me and 06's NAP-we're really close, it's hard to even think of separating. as for this year's, the last two weeks dengan the students were awesome, that makes it all painful. even if I am close with most of the girls from the start- yeah, kena jaga Chie, Eri and all the one yang comel2...I think in the end, Ee and Kai got the ones yang dorang rapat...hehehe, but still, I think all the tutors and the NAP students wants the remaining days to be together..

Oh and this picture...this is when NAP '06 are on our way to Tesco...mase tu takde Texco Extra, so kena la pergi yang kat depan highway tu and that was the first time we went out together...my head is popping out kat blakang tuh and Ryu*in green* is like the *hawt*est guy of the batch, but this year, tak tahu la saper, coz last year, I'm sure people agrees with me if I said it was Yacchi. this year, Tosshi? maybe...hehe...I'm being bias.

ah, I guess I don't have this 'culture shock' anymore. I was, mase first year. Shocked till the point that I'm kinda the most jakun person ever mase NAP student datang. but I'm happy to say, what I've experienced since then had been benefiting. I'm happy to say that I could talk and explain about nearly anything in Japanese, even if I do mix up all the words...huhuhu, hey, I'm not a Japanese, so it's only natural if I tend to katakana-ing every word that I couldn't think of in Nihongo.


i have to go and find this year's NAP pictures...since MY PRECIOUS OLYMPUS ROSAAAAAKKK! *still couldn't get over that fact* I'm left with my phone's camera... tapi takpe, I could go on and curi other tutor's pictures la, hehehe

Sharia Law

Wedid a forum about this last week and...as a a prO-sharia law, I really think that it is applicable in Malaysia, but with consideration of the country as a multi-racial country.

It is said that the Sharia law is to take the place of Common Law that we've been using. Common Law isn't written, while our law are mostly written, no doubt there are loopholes in it and we use the Common law as our guidance..but why don't we try and refer to Sharia law and look how the outcome will be?

Sharia law isn't only limited to marriage,family, matrimony,apostasy and such....it branch to economy, business, banking, government and many more. And I think there are a lot of good qualities in it that we have yet to see- don't overlook it when the general perception of it being a law designated by the Muslim get to you. I mean, you should take what's BEST and what that could DO JUSTICE to you and your country as the law, isn't it?

well, opinions differ, but I really hope Malaysia could give Sharia law a chance.

Last Minute

Gotta have to edit this later...forgot to update on my latest song... *!!!* due to emergency..


[EDIT]

Oh where oh where can my paper be
I'm panicking, it's killing me
I've searched everyhwere that I could not rest
So I think I'm gonna go really crazy...I guess

I was in my room, I was lazing around
Hunger got to me, you can hear the sound
Armed with money, I went to McD
Oredered two burgers and a value meal
I was so full, headed back to my room
Switch on my laptop and started to type
The long long lines and the boring phrase
The painful task that gives... me stress

Oh why oh why can't I do it right?
I've tried my best, I cannot fight
This is what happens when you do last minute
There is no time for me to cry...it's too late

When I woke up the rain was pouring down
My roommate's sleeping without a sound
My conscience struck me, oh I knew I had to work
With heavy heart and sleepy eyes
I lifted my head, looked at the screen and screamed
Where on earth has my paper been?
I tried to search, I'm getting really pissed
The result was none, I won't live in peace

Well now it's gone eventhough I tried to find
I lost my work, my A... that night

Original song- by Deep Purple; Last Kiss

chiao~

31st August

Thinking about whether to actually goes back the timeline and talk about the topics that we've covered so far, I think this topic is the one that I really wants to comment about.

I've talked about DAP and in class, everyone had talked about a topic related to the independence day in Malaysia. It's funny how most Malaysians celebrates it in a really commercial way. I mean, yes, it's how tha toung ones would remembers it, but shouldn't we focus on how we've been through these 50 years. I'm sure everyone could recall May the 13th, or how we've been affected by 1998's economy problem. Up and down, Malaysia had went it all, and if good things are coming as it is, we could expect bad things too.

Retain the peace, bring out the best in Malaysians, be proud of the country.

Pray for what best~ Yakin Boleh, Malaysia!